On facing my deepest fears

It was a cold day of December 2009 at East Town Park. The Park was covered in deep snow and it was very silent. I had been suffering from stomach problems for a while then, I had lost a lot of weight.  My fears were taking over and it had became increasingly difficult to control them, I was suffering from anxiety.  That day at the park, being alone and hearing each step and  breath as I walked on the snow made my fears even more real.  I did not have any diagnoses to base them on apart from the ones that I made myself: I thought I was more close to death than to life. I felt so hopeless that I surrendered to my fear and I embraced it. In that very moment something happened, a sense of joy pervaded my whole being and I decided that I was going to live my life moment by moment to the fullest, no matter how long I had to live. My mind turned to the present moment and I started noticing more and more of the beauty around me and I felt in my bones that I was alive.
That turned out to be the beginning of my recovery and another door that opened on my spiritual path.